Yesterday I came across this brilliant blog post at Little Fella and Us. She has joined The Moaning Bitch Club, and by the time I had finished reading her post, the tears of laughter were running down my face. It was then that it hit me, moaning is not always a bad thing, its therapy, a way to vent our frustrations so we don't resort to strangling the nearest person! Its not a negative..its a positive! I am so happy, I can moan AND stay positive!
So now, I am becoming an official member of The Moaning Bitch Club, and I'm not ashamed to tell the world. So sit back, relax and get ready for some moaning therapy.
Asda, when you revamp the store and move all the aisles closer together so you can fit more stock in your shop, it does NOT qualify you to tell us all " Come to your new larger store". It is NOT larger, it is just cramped! Playing dodge the trolley on a Saturday is hard enough without you making the aisles that narrow that only 2 trolleys will fit. My ankles are turning a strange shade of purple, thanks to your "New Larger Store"
Still on the subject of Asda. Now that we have less room in the aisles of our "New Larger" store, could you please refrain from stopping in the middle of these narrower said aisles to have your latest social meeting. The store has a lovely McDonalds with seating, where you can sit and chat all day if you would like. I find shopping stressful enough without having to say "Excuse me" several times over before you give me a filthy look as if I am the one that is in the wrong for wanting to shop.
Teenage daughter, when we moved into this house, I am sure that your bedroom had a floor, I may be mistaken as it's that long since I actually saw it. I bought you wardrobes, chest of drawers and a desk for all those accessories a teenage girl requires. So WHY do I feel like I am taking my life in my hands when I am unfortunate enough to have to enter your domain, stepping over clothes, make up, college books, hair straightners etc, always wondering what lurks beneath. If there is not enough room in your cupboards etc for all your things, please do tell me, because it means that you have too much and I will not have to buy you anything for at least the next 10 years..saving me lots of money!
Mobile phones do not have to be PERMANENTLY attached to your hand. They will not fly away or evaporate into thin air if you put it down for a few minutes while doing something I have asked you to do repeatedly over the last few hours. And just for the record " Stop nagging, I am just going to do it", does not wash when it's the 10th time I have asked.
On the subject of mobile phones, why is it that when I ring or text you, you never hear it..how can this be when the thing is glued to your hand and people start to think you are ill if you haven't looked at it for 5 minutes. I may be your mother, and I may be "old" but that does not make me stupid, I KNOW you ignore it!
Would the people who keep putting pizza take away leaflets through my letterbox please STOP! I may not be the best cook and I may have lazy days where I order a take away, but I do NOT need a constant supply of menus. I could have wallpapered the whole house with the amount you have posted in this last few months..have you not heard about how we should all be doing our bit for saving the planet?? I must have had a whole tree's worth of leaflets this last year!
If it is too much to ask you to stop, could you at least give me some variety, like the odd Chinese, Indian or Italian menu..as when I do decide to get a take away, believe it or not, it is not always pizza I want!!
Phewww, I feel way better after writing all that! Could have gone on and on, but think from now on I will do a Sunday Moaning Bitch Club post. Not because I'm a depressive person, but because the therapy of writing it makes me much less likely to strangle the nearest person or child the next time they really piss me off!
So kids, think yourselves lucky I have discovered the club, your chances of making it to adulthood have just greatly improved.
If after reading this and you would like to join The Moaning Bitch Club, please go say hi to Misslexywoo whose idea started all this xx