Packing for your holiday NOT made easy!

Today I waved my son off on his school trip to France, might not sound like much but this is a great achievement for a 14 year old with autism who has never been away from home in that situation before, never mind abroad. He has had chances to go before but has always turned the offer down,but this time he has taken another step on his journey into adulthood. 


I had to go into the school to get them to reassure him that he would not be made to eat anything he didn't like and that they would always make sure he had something to eat even if it was just a cheese sandwich (he only eats about 10 different meals, part of the sensory issues stemming from his autism). They also reassured him that they would be up early every day so the fact he is up early in the mornings is a good thing, they turned it into a positive.


Well last night it was time to pack his case, you may have heard me screaming from where ever you are reading this! He is very very fussy about what clothes he will wear, textures, colours, styles etc etc and even though he had been with me when we went shopping it still wasn't plain sailing.


In his words I was fussing.." why are you putting my clothes in so neat when I will just be shoving the case under my bed?".


I bought him a baseball cap." Why did you get one with stripes on front? I will have to wear it inside out!" (I could not find a plain black one anywhere, shop keepers please note!!)


When sent to his room to choose one more t shirt to go in case, all me and his sister could hear was " That one is too green, that is yellow, that one has pink on it, that one has writing, that one is too plain etc etc" you get the drift.

I got out the plain socks I had bought and when I showed him them, got " They are ok, at least you didn't get ones saying "I am gay" on them" (where did that one come from??)


I couldn't find his comb so told him to get one at the service station when they stopped there, to be told " If the hotel rooms have hairdryers I am sure they have combs" in a tone of voice implying I was stupid.


" Do you have my euros mum?" "Yes C, I have showed you them and told you I have them several times"


When asked to get his rucksack to use as hand luggage, he told me he was just using a carrier bag as they said use a bag, not a rucksack. It took quite a bit of persuasion to convince him that they did not mean a carrier.


He uses his rucksack for school and when he brought it downstairs he said it was full of crumbs so he couldn't use it. I was baffled by this but went for a look and couldn't believe what was in the bottom. At school they have a running track that leaves bits of grit and sand on their trainers, well there must have been about 2 inches of this in the bottom of his bag (he has a separate bag for his trainers so the mind boggles as to how it got there).After the holidays I am going to the school to check that they still have a running track and it isn't all in my house!


Finally he was in bed and I could start to breathe slowly again, till this morning. He had to be at the school for 6.30am and the coach was leaving at 7am. He must have said " Remember we have to be there for 6.30am" about 10 times , closely followed by " Mum, have you got my euros?" We made it to the school on time and the other children were arriving along with the teachers who were going with them. Well, the coach was late!! When I say late, I only mean 10 minutes..but coach drivers please note, if you are taking my son anywhere and you say you will be there for 6.30am..BE THERE for 6.30am and NOT 6.40am! You have no idea the headache I got for your lateness!


Cases were loaded, I gave his euros to his teacher (and made sure he saw me do it) and they all got onto the coach. Children were looking out the windows, waving to their parents and friends with excited looks on their faces..and C? Well he was sitting playing on his DS oblivious to the fact that I was standing waving...he did glance up at one point and gave a slight gesture with his hand that you could say was an attempt at a wave( well thats what I'm telling myself)


Now I am sitting here, feeling like I have lost something and doing enough worrying for the whole coach load of kids parents..but I am also very proud of him and looking forward to hearing all about when he gets home.But no doubt when I ask him about his holiday will get the one word answer "Fine".


This is their itinerary and C's comments on them.


SUNDAY and MONDAY
Full days spent at Disneyland Paris and Walt Disney Studios
Me:"Wish I was going there, you must be looking forward to going"
C: "It's Disneyland mum, no big deal"

TUESDAY

Day spent in Paris, boat on the river Siene, trip up Eiffel Tower, shopping and tour of Paris at night.

C:" Whats so special about the Eiffel Tower, its just a tower"

WEDNESDAY

Time to travel home, stopping at a chocolate factory on the way to the ferry.

Me: " What are you looking forward to most?"

C:" The chocolate factory of course" A boy after my own heart lol.

Have a wonderful time C, I am so proud of you x

School update and son's review

This is an update to last post. Went to the school this morning for C's review and to argue his case for not being made to change his subjects and think we have things sorted out..fingers crossed!

The review came first, where they discuss how he is doing in class, his grades and how he is getting on at school in general. Surprise surprise, he is doing excellent in Maths, Sciences, ICT, Media and Graphics..and struggling in English, Religious Education and Citizenship. Found myself having to explain AGAIN why this is (we do this every year), about how he struggles with hand writing and any subject that is related to "how and why people think and act the way they do" and that the reason he is so good at maths, science etc is that it is facts and figures.

At every review in the past there has always been an instance of where C does his "saying it as it is" thing,  and I find myself either trying not to laugh or looking for a hole in the floor to climb under. Today it seemed we were going to avoid that one, till his learning mentor asked him " Why do you think you do not do very well in Citizenship C?" I had a feeling that his answer would not just be "because I dont understand it"..and was right. Answer was " Cos the teacher doesn't teach us anything, how are we meant to learn anything when she only says 2 sentences?" 

Mentor " I am sure that isnt right C, are you sure?"

C's answer " I am not stupid, I know what I hear, she says 2 sentences and then lets us just talk to eachother. What is the point of that?"

His mentor looked horrified and starting scribbling in her notes about having to check that Mrs X is teaching etc etc. I did try to explain that if she was asking the class to discuss something, this would not count as teaching to C as she was not teaching them facts and figures..but not sure she listened..so now got visions of poor Mrs X being interogated about her teaching methods and not having a clue what is going on!!

Now moving onto the subject of C having to drop something he is good at for something he will struggle with...the learning mentor backed out of that one and handed me over to the deputy head...lucky guy! He started off with the " this is the best thing for C etc etc and that the colleges will be making it hard for children without the EBacc to get on courses.", but it didn't wash with me. Sat and explained all the reasons it was not best for C, and told him I had already rung the college and they told me they cannot see them ever refusing a child places on software design, games devolpment and computer courses because they dont have the new EBacc. He wasnt expecting that one! So he told me that if I could get a letter in writing from the college saying that, he would make C an exception. 

He then went onto to say he cannot make it easy for C to not do the EBacc as it would open the flood gates for other parents to argue the case for their children. I said that I didnt go along with that, as due to C having been diagnosed with High Functioning Autism, the school should be making "reasonable adjustments" if it was in his best interests and not put him at a disadvantage because of it.

So now this is the stage we are at..if I get a letter from college they will let him stick to his current subjects..if the college wont write one they will let him keep his current subjects due to it being in his best interests due to his autism. Is it just me, or is it daft that we have to get the letter if they are going to make an exception even if we dont? Or is he hoping I will go away and forget about it if the letter can't be got?

If its the latter, he is out of luck, just rang the college again and their school liason officer sounded surprised at them asking me for proof. He said he wont write a letter but has told me to get the head to email him and he will tell him what he told me..so now waiting on the school ringing me back again...oh what fun.

Want to jump and down for joy at winning...but dont think I will be able to do that until I have it in black and white from the school.

Thanks everbody for their support and advice this last few days..its great to know you are not on your own xx

School...get ready for a fight!

I have already done a blog post today but right now I am livid, with steam nearly coming out my ears, and figured writing it down might just help me to calm down a little bit.

C is 14 and has High Functioning Autism and is coping really well with mainstream high school. He is doing great in the science's, maths etc and got to choose his options (the subjects he will take for exams) a year early as he is doing so well. He has already sat some of his biology and got an A and A* earlier this year.

Well today he comes bursting in the door from school, talking constantly about how the school are "arseholes", "idiots" etc etc (all words he uses when he is stressed) and took me a good 10 minutes to calm him down so I could get any sense out of him...bearing in mind he normally comes in door and when asked how school has been just says "fine", we never get told anything!

He hands me a letter informing me that they are now changing his options (after studying them for a year!). This year the government, in their usual wisdom , decided that schools would be ranked in their league tables, not just by how well the children did in their final exams, but only using the children who did well AND took history or geography. My daughter last year got 6 A's and 4 B's but as she didnt do either of these subjects she didnt count, so their place in the league table went right down.

So now, the school have told me that C must drop one of the subjects he is doing well in, and take either History or Geography. C struggles a great deal with handwriting and essay type questions, he has no interest in either subject..is just managing in English and we are hoping he manages to struggle through that and get a half decent grade to go along with his others. He wants to go into game development at university (he is very serious about that) and at the moment is doing Graphics and Media, both subjects that are very relevant to his aims and ambitions...now the letter says he has to drop one of them!

Now my question is this, are the school doing this for my son's benefit, or to make their place in the league tables look better?? I think you can guess what my answer is.

Have just rang the school asking to get an appointment to go in and see them but have been told I will have to ring in the morning. Apart from the difficulties C has with his hand writing, he like most children on the autistic spectrum, struggles with change..esp one that is just thrust upon him with no warning. He is now constantly going in and out of the room, saying he is leaving the school and if I dont let him he is leaving the country if we dont move house.

Ok, rant over for the moment, thanks for listening, just when you think things are going well something else comes along and slaps you in the face. I am not going to take this lying down, they have a fight on their hands!! xx

Oh, and by the way, he has till Thursday to decide which one he is dropping!

Something to look forward to

Well its coming to the end of another week, and we all like something to look forward to for the week to come. A nice shopping trip, a day out to the country perhaps, a visit from friends, you get my drift..well mine arrived in the form of a letter from C's school, informing me it's his review day next Friday and asking me to attend.

Review day is where we meet his learning mentor to discuss how he is getting on in his subjects, if his grades are what they expected and if he has any problems with school life in general. So what's the big deal? you may ask. Well you have never been to a review day with C.


Review day in first year at high school went something like this.
"How are you finding things at school C?"
answer "Fine, what do you expect?"
"Are you enjoying your lessons?"
answer " Who enjoys school?"
The rest of the questions got similar answers,with the mentor sitting scratching her head. I said my thank you's and we got up to leave with C shouting back at her " I think you should check your hair, when my sister was scratching her head she had nits"
Exit one red faced mum and one 12 year old who was oblivious to anyone else's reactions.

Second year at high school's review day went slightly better, well at least he gave answers that consisted of more than "Fine",and this mentor didn't scratch her head. His grades were great and he told her what his favourite subjects were, so I started to relax...too soon! 
The mentor asked " Do you know why you are doing better at French than in Spanish? Is there a problem in Spanish?" 
Answer " Well its your fault, you gave me the weirdest teacher" After an awkward pause she asked in what way was the teacher weird.
Answer" Well she is deaf or stupid, people all talk and she doesn't even notice or doesn't know we aren't meant to talk in class, maybe you should tell her" After my face started to look less like a fried tomato I explained to the mentor that C finds it very hard to concentrate with noise going on around him and when you tell him rules like "don't talk in class" he will follow them to the T and that this is all related to his autism. He was shortly afterwards moved to a different group and things settled down.


So now the letter has dropped through the letterbox for his third year review and for some strange reason I am a bit nervous about what to expect. I told him today we have to go for the review next Friday. Answer " I do know that, not like its any big deal"..well I may beg to differ on that one.


Look out for updates next Friday , from the mum with even more grey hair and the wine bottle in her hand.

It's days like these that make it all worthwhile :)

 I have just had one of those days where I am grinning from ear to ear and thinking I have the best kids in the world :)

It started this morning, when my 16 year old, L, came downstairs and said she had to log onto her college's intranet to check her exam results. She is doing the first year of her A levels, with the ambition of doing Midwifery when college is over. She was really nervous, saying she was scared to look and when she plucked up the courage she found out they weren't going to be there for another hour...was a LONG hour! Finally the time came and I sat with a big beam on my face...she got A's and B's...she sat miserable about the one she didnt do so well on (this is only the first part, she has more in June then another year) with me telling her how proud I was of her and that she still had plenty of time to build up her mark for her Maths.

Now picture a totally different situation, C, my 14 year old who has high functioning autism/asperger's, came in from school with the usual "fine", "stop being nosey" etc etc when I asked how his day had gone. He proceeded to talk about something totally disconnected with school and then at the end of it all just threw in " by the way I got an A and A* for my tests". He had sat some biology GCSE's a year early at the beginning of the year and these were the ones he meant. He hadnt told me the results were due , infact when he sat the exams he could not understand why I was saying good luck, as " I know it so why do I need good luck"...well guess he was right about the knowing it part.

So one child who can't sleep , stresses and gets worried about sitting the exams and always does well...and another who acts like it is nothing special and cannot understand why I am so interested and feeling so proud...anyway, all I know is I am one proud Mum!! :)))